Whether at work or somewhere, we use interpersonal skills to interact with others. At work, we talk to our co-employees, delegate work to our subordinates, or present proposals to clients or to the management. All these aspects require interpersonal skills. It is no wonder many employers today seek out candidates with robust interpersonal skills. They no longer just rely on aptitude and expertise, these employers look for people that can work well with a team as well as effectively communicate with both internal and external stakeholders of the company. But what really are interpersonal skills?
Understanding Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal skills are often referred to as people kills or social skills. Sometimes, they are pointed directly as communication skills. In general terms, they are also called life skills and fall under the category of “soft skills.” Unless you have developed anthropophobia or social phobia growing up, you actually possess innate interpersonal skills from the time you were born.
Yes, you had it in you all along. Interpersonal skills include verbal and non-verbal communication, listening skills, negotiation skills, problem solving and decision-making, and your level of assertiveness. What you say, how you say it, and how you interpret the message using both verbal and body language largely comprises the communication skills set of interpersonal skills. How you act upon challenges, find a win-win solution, and decide according to the opportunities presented as well as how you assert a stand also fall in the broad concept of interpersonal skills. All these, however, are crucial to your productiveness and effectiveness in the workforce.
Honing Your Interpersonal Skills
While there are a broad range of skills set for you to be successful in your chosen field, it cannot be denied that having strong interpersonal skills will serve as a foundation for your success. Experts continually prove that without such, developing other life skills may be difficult.
Luckily, interpersonal skills can be honed to cohesively work with your hard skills. Here are some ways to develop them:
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When talking, choose your words wisely. Say things in a way that you can be easily understood. Communicate message in a straightforward manner by instilling clarity and to always seek feedback to ensure that your idea is understood. You may want to use appropriate questioning and posturing to develop a much clearer understanding of the matter at hand.
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Listen and by that, means to listen well. Do not mistaken listening as hearing per se. Listening takes more than hearing as it involves the ability to “receive and interpret” messages delivered by both verbal and nonverbal cues or in the absence of words. You need to decipher beyond mere words. Often, what could be hidden behind nonverbal cues are the more important matters.
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Learn to clarify by asking questions. Seeking clarifications will help prevent any point of misunderstanding. Through this, you can carefully express your assertions and create point of negotiations in an effective and mutually respectful manner.
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Always take control of your interpersonal skills. Try to relax and maintain a positive mindset. Do not let emotions get the better of you. Practice relaxation techniques and mindfulness for positive attitude.
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Learn also to empathize with other co-employees or a boss’ point of view. You need to accept that POVs can sometimes be different. Should communication fail, carefully analyze what barriers made it so and rectify the problem from there.
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Reflect upon previous successes and failures in fostering interpersonal skills with others. Always think positive. See failures as room for improvements and communication gaffe as a way to forge more effective measures.
Indeed, developing strong personal skills can be a challenge. You need to recognize and accept your limitations and mistakes to fully grasp how far you can achieve. Maintain a positive attitude and, if possible, find a trusted coach who can guide you through.