Self-Improvement – SiMar

Know the Signs: 7 Ways To Drown Your Success with Insecurity

Allison Todd — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 23:14:28 +0000

Insecurity leads to more insecurity. As long as you have a choice, there are options. Choose to make the best decisions for your business with confidence. Stay focused and move forward. In the meantime, here’s 7 Ways To Drown Your Success with Insecurity. And I hope you tackle each and every way.

One of the silent killers in business and life is insecurity. It’s an emotional aspect that molds self-image and influences human behavior. Some people, indeed, feel insecure in their own skin. As entrepreneurs or employees, insecurity can easily be hidden behind huge smiles and large cloaks of anonymity. However, such underlying hurtful and self-critical thoughts will continue to create more thoughts and emotion. Even if you know it’s coming, you want to do all you can to manage it. Don’t let insecurity drown your success.

Here are some common signs of insecurity:

You change your mind a lot. If you find yourself unable to figure out what you really want thus, your goals and objectives continually fluctuate like the market interest rate, you change your mind a lot. One moment, you are all for re-branding and the next moment, you want to stick to current strategies. It’s a dilemma that breeds disaster.
Decision-making is a constant struggle. Is everything a challenge from deciding what to eat to major business decisions? Do you find it hard to take a stand? Better yet, if you consult friends and colleagues over and over again but still don’t trust their opinions and can’t make a decision on your own, then decision making is a constant struggle.
Validation from others comes highly regarded. You want every action, every decision, or even the way you dress, move, or speak to be acceptable to others. You scream for approval in everything you do.
You have the tendency to be over-controlling and demanding. Do you know someone who takes offense when others do not share their ideas or methods–and they take it as a personal attack? If constructive criticism is not in their vocabulary, controlling may be a part of their personality.

More signs of insecurity:

People who are insecure constantly talk about themselves. They sing praises not to impress others but more to appease their own insatiable desire for approval. This is also part of the reason why they have a hard time recognizing the efforts or worth of others–because they are too busy talking and thinking about themselves.
Being defensive is like a reflex. You easily take offense, even on things that do not matter. As previously mentioned, criticism is not your cup of tea.
An insecure person finds it easy to pick on another person’s faults. This is either to hide an inner affliction or a way to feel a superficial superiority. Often, these acts are done by either starting or spreading gossip.

This is serious business. Read more on this topic: How Self Esteem Shape Up Life and Business Decisions

Next Steps & Solutions

It is important to know where your insecurities stem from and the influence it has on your life. A business coach is an optimum choice when one’s insecurities become so intense that it prevents progress. One way to divorce your insecurities is to start by accepting that you have strengths and you have weaknesses, we all do.

The process is not going to be easy because it is really a struggle within your own self. The moment you start poking on those critical inner voices, expect screams of retaliation in return. Push your hardest and do not back down! If you want to be successful in your business or personal goals, do not listen to the taunts that entice you to hold back on your greatness!

Want to break the walls of insecurity and create bridges of confidence? A coach or mentor is your solution. SiMar Inc. founder Allison Todd is a professional coach who develops high performance capabilities in people. Schedule a consultation now!

Can You Improve Your Creative Mindset?

Allison Todd — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 23:38:08 +0000

There are good entrepreneurs and there are creative ones. While being good may bring in profits, fulfillment and growth are easier to business leaders who have a creative mindset. This is when an entrepreneur thinks, feels, and does business in a more meaningful way with purpose, values, sincerity, and joy in mind on a deeply personal level. The idea that “all people are creative, but in different ways” has always been a fodder for debate. It is easier however, to deduce that a creative mindset can be developed and enhanced over time. Now this begs the question—how?

According to psychologists, there are ways to unblock the creative pathways of the mind. Each of these methods, however, can deliver a different impact to individuals. Some of these known methods are:

Self-Restriction. Some people are known to go beyond and over when being imposed with certain limitations. Accordingly, such self-imposed restrictions or limitations allow them to think outside the box or work outside their comfort zone thereby, boosting creative mindset and sharpening one’s focus.

Re-Conceptualization. Problems are part and parcel of daily living. Whether in business or in personal undertakings, the idea of re-conceptualizing the problem at hand will ignite people’s creativity to examine various causations and let the mind work on different angles.

Psychological Detachment. Imposing some sort of psychological distance from a task or a problem is known to also help boost one’s creative mindset. When a person detaches himself from the actual “location” of the issue, he or she can see the matter at hand in a more objective manner. This somehow encourages a higher and more creative level of thinking.

Absorb State. Each person is believed to be in two different states of mind when creating and absorbing something. Instead of combining actual work with creative thinking, which requires deep thoughts and focus, it is suggested by experts that a more improved sense of creativity is usually reached when one “turn-off work” and consume or absorb more via observing, reading, listening to music, or simply watching.

Daydreaming Method. In connection to an “absorb state,” daydreaming or the capacity to turn-off everything and focus on a dreamy state will help put your creative neurons on hyperdrive. This is why many creative think-tanks go on meditation and get back to work thereafter.

Surrealism. Experiencing something absurd or out of one’s league also helps put the creative mind into overdrive. Reading short stories or comics, the absurd kind, for a few minutes during a mental block allows one to “reboot” the mind and start cranking for creative juices to flow in.

Emotional Upheaval. While the idea that happiness usher more creativity, recent studies conclude that both negative and positive emotions crank up the mind to think outside its boundaries. When a powerful mood sits in, refocus your energy into doing something creative.

Exercise. Everyone may have heard this before—moving boosts the mind to think in a more creative way. Many “Aha!” moments have happened while on a treadmill or a bike.

The next time you are neck-deep in a creative rut, do any of these methods to get your creative juices going. Read a children’s book. Watch a horror flick or a Korean historical drama or anything out of the ordinary. Feel free also to walk around the block or row a boat in a nearby lake. There are countless ways to make your creative mindset flowing, but in all these, it starts with your willingness and commitment.

Everyday is a New Year!

Allison Todd — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 09:23:43 +0000

What a crazy week you may have been into!

After all that holiday travel and fun meeting family and friends, the first week of January may seem to come in a blur. There seems to be so many things left undone and unsaid. As you look at your own calendar, plans for the New Year seem to be in disarray leading to you to chuckle while your brain scrambling for more coffee to feel “settled” in the office. With a steaming mug at hand, you step back and assess how far – or how not-far—you are from your goals.

While the New Year (or any special event) may be considered landmark occasions that present an opportunity for you to reassess and rediscover your business or career efforts, they can also be limiting your abilities to truly unleash the power within. Special occasions though useful in creating timetables for goal-setting, they should not be regarded as the end-all of your desire to become successful.

Set No Limits

People who tend to rely on New Year’s resolution or penance to be done during Holy Week or some other belief mumbo-jumbo to change for the better are bound to lose a lot of opportunities in the process. They are so tied-up to the perception of timeframes when it comes to implementations of their goals. This somehow leads to the habit of “waiting for something to happen” instead of doing one’s best by the minute.

It is important to remember that it is quite limiting to simply wait for any life events to start implementing your goals. It is futile to say “I will go on a diet after I consume this huge tube of ice cream.” It’s almost akin to saying that you will not start working on your business goals until you fail.

The waiting game is just not going to cover the many opportunities you allow to pass by.

Seize Every Opportunity

But while “carpe diem” or “YOLO” are heavily scoffed at by many conservatives, millennials are actually doing great in this regard. A generation known to shun procrastination, this new breed of young entrepreneurs and professionals runs after opportunities instead of waiting for them to fall on their lap. They shape their lives in the perception that a break comes rarely on its own accord. One has to pull strings to make things happen—and almost always, it does work the magic.

So, dear subscribes and followers, I strongly advice to make everyday a “new year.” Treat special events as icing on your cake. With or without it, you are moving. Every day you are growing and only reach a full year older on your birthday. Every day is Christmas if the intention is to glorify the Heavens and to share goodwill to everyone.

Yes, treating every day as a new year will ultimately bring in more successes. Instead of waiting for momentous occasions, cultivate the habit of making daily adjustments. This allows you to see your progress in a clearer perspective, work on your misgivings and mistakes, and prevent accumulating negativity. Everyone has 365 opportunities to pursue this 2017. It is high time to commit to the habit of making each day the “new year” and embrace success one day at a time.

Must-Know Business Etiquette To Improve Client Relations

Allison Todd — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 23:52:37 +0000

The best way to manage your relationships in business is to manage your behavior. Your emotional intelligence depends on you. While social norms may change, fundamentals of business etiquette remain the same. As such, when meeting prospective vendors and clients, business etiquette must be practiced. Even when the tone of management is more casual than in the past, it is essential to practice the same level of professionalism.

Here are some tips to ensure that client relations are always well managed:

1. Punctuality and commitment matter a lot to people. No matter what generation you’re in, arriving on time and upholding your promise are two of the most widely valued business practices of all time. Business is all about being trustworthy in your word and action. Make it a habit to arrive early to meetings and appointments.

2. Be organized in your appearance and action. While it is important to arrive on time, it is imperative to be prepared upon arrival. Make sure you have any necessary reports or documents needed for the meeting. Your reports must also be well organized. Personal hygiene and a presentable outfit are a must to maintain professionalism. Always bring a business card with you when meeting for the first time.

3. Be genuinely cordial and interested. When applicable, a firm handshake and good eye contact speaks volumes about engagement. One should also show genuine interest when the other person is speaking. Its also polite to put your device on “silent mode”. A seemingly simple act of consideration can definitely go a long way in business.

4. Listen attentively and ask good questions. Without a doubt, you already have a vision statement, brand pitch and an “ASK” prepared but first things first. Try listening first. This ultimately gives you an advantage and allows you to ask intelligent questions. Most importantly, the listener will also feel appreciated.

5. When meeting over lunch or dinner or coffee meet-up, here are some important points to remember:

Choose a place that a client prefers or go for a place where food and service as well as ambiance are topnotch—but well, within your budget
Grab the tab if you initiated the meeting
Allow the client to order first
Maintain good eating etiquette
And…..be cordial to your server!

6. Always keep conversation professional. If possible, steer-clear of controversial subjects like politics and religion. Always choose topics relevant to your meeting experience.

In all these, always express gratitude. Don’t forget the thank you email. I LOVE a great handwritten thank you card. Whether its an email of appreciation or a bouquet of flowers to your favorite client, keeping your communication open will allow for the next steps to effortlessly flow. Welcome to the beginning of a mutually trusting and respectful relationship.

Addressing Counterproductive Behaviors Of Women Leaders

Allison Todd — Mon, 25 Sep 2017 12:28:52 +0000

Black women face challenge inside and outside the workplace. From conversations about how we can wear our hair at work to the preconceived notions and stereotypes, it’s a fact one can not deny, especially if you happen to be a black woman. Collectively women have been fighting one generation after another. From access to interest, there is seemingly a constant struggle to be seen as an equal. But, equal to what?

There are many successful women how have “figured it out”. They understand the chaos of the real world and have figured out the path around the obstacles or the solution to face challenge. But many are still hankering in the dark, holding back their greatness as a defense to a judgmental society. And I am here to let you know that those defense mechanisms are only hurting yourself. Eliminate the counterproductive behaviors and reveal your greatness. What to do? Start here:

STOP apologizing. Your opinion and your actions don’t have to match anyone else’s style. Be collaborative without bending (or bowing) down to others. Your unique disposition can achieve the goal and be a valuable contribution to the decision-making process.

STOP curtailing your own convictions to accommodate someone else. It’s virtually inconceivable to limit your greatness so others can feel better about themselves. It’s not as if you are choosing bragging or being a pushover. Instead, you are making you, priority. By valuing and trusting your ideals and decisions, you would be surprised how profitable it is for your career and business. Be open to ideation, share your creative mind, offer your talents and capabilities, lend your support and do so with an energetic vibe. Never let yourself feel small so another person can feel big, period.

STOP unhealthy habits. Okay here’s a secret revealed, its OK to be an ambitious woman. Be committed to achieving your career or business goals but do so without compromising your health. Many successful workaholics have literally passed out before the awakening that they had to care for self first, more, NOW! Divert from your routine and have fun. Schedule time to be still, silent or meditate. Let gratitude be a permanent part of your daily habits. Most of all, forgive yourself. There is no such thing as work-life balance and life happens. Ensure you can make it to the “finish line” and prioritize health and wellness.

STOP looking at the future but rather focus on the “now”. Once you plan your goals and set your goals, focus forward and live in the now. Coulda, shoulda, wouldas have no place in your vocabulary. Give your best daily and press forward without regret. Doing so will give you plenty of chance to build on your personal brand and carve a career path that will lead to the promising future of your dreams. But don’t forget you can live abundantly today. It’s not just about sustaining it’s also about adapting, life will throw change at you like curve balls (at high speed), it’s OK. Brace yourself and ….what? You got it! Press forward!

STOP limiting yourself. Many people will tell you not to have a family, career, entrepreneurship, volunteerism and more at the same time. They will give you every reason while living with boundaries is what’s right for you! WRONG. Kick those notions to the curb and do, at least try the things that speaks to your heart (and the things that don’t). Live limitless and accept the notion that life is an adventure. A quick look at some of the most successful black women today will tell you that there is no limit to what you can achieve as a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur, a career professional, a celebrity, an executive, you name it – there’s no limit. Believe and take action and you have won half of the battle is won.

The time has come for you to STOP these counter-productive behaviors now! Get a hold of your inner prowess and start carving positive changes in your life, career and business. Now is the time for you to own your greatness and live beyond the limits your fears. One generation after another, women to women we will continue and it doesn’t have to be a fight. Instead let it be a life lived well, outloud. Perhaps the internalized struggle is the most powerful of all and once conquered life can be lived …without limits.